TO: <developers>
SUBJECT: New Code Conventions
In order to increase the readability of the code that you people are turning out, we're going to have to implement some new code conventions. I'm no idiot and used to be able to hang with the best of them back when I was writing cobol, but this java shit is nearly incomprehensible. I've talked with Larry ButtKisser and we've come up with some new code conventions that will increase readability and promote accountability.
* In-line documentation
Every line of code should be preceded by at least 1 line of commentary. The line should, at a minimum, contain the following: The loginID of every developer who has edited that line of code and a little note saying what that line does. The more in-line documentation there is, the better.
* Deleting lines of code
No more deleting lines of old code, they should always be commented out instead with in-line documentation on who did the commenting and why it was done and what is replacing it.
* Variable Naming
All of these long descriptive variable names are just wasting space and making the program bloat. From now on, use sensible names like x, y, or i. If you must use longer names, try to keep to 5 characters and under. Of course, the real meaning of any shortened variable name should be noted in the in-line documentation for clarity.
These 3 simple changes should make the code much easier to read and maintain. You people need to get on the ball! We are way behind schedule and I need to understand why and these changes should help.
That is all,
Mr. McManager
{submitted by A. Slaev}
{submitted by A. Slaev}
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6 comments:
That's totally f'in insane... Documentation is absolutely needed, but every line is insane... Want to know why you're behind schedule now? It's because you freaking programmers have to write a novel accompanying the program.
The manager is a moron.
@dyoung520: Are you double-parodying us or are you really that slow?
I wonder when McManager was last told to get over himself. Obviously it's been a real long time.
Want bloated program? Comment on every line, leave old code inline with comments.
The worst program to manipulate is a program with non-meaningful variable names like your genius x, y, i bs.
Use a subversion system already, forget all that "keep deleted code forever" nonsense. You deleted it for a reason.
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